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Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity – and we can build it. It isn’t about having a backbone. It’s about strengthening the muscles around our backbone. Sheryl Sandberg
Sandberg, the COO of Facebook and author of the bestseller, LEAN IN, was in KC recently celebrating the launch of her latest book, Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy. As I listened to her on the edge of my seat hoping for a novel nugget, Sheryl Sandberg shared many of the things most of us have already learned. Yet she delivered them with such a unique and personalized twist we were all drawn during her recant of the tragic story when her husband and life love, Dave, died unexpectedly two years ago.
Strengthening Your Muscle of Resilience
Since this event, my curiosity has led me to ask several people how they’ve strengthened their muscle of resilience. One of the most confident responses came from a leader I work with regularly. He said it well, “I’ve found with a great attitude and hard work you can overcome most anything.”
Dr. Martin Seligman. The research group was exposed to different levels of inescapable shocks and noise. Only one third of the group worked to remedy the negative effects they were experiencing, while as many as one third at the other end of the spectrum went to levels of extreme helplessness. What was the one differentiator? Optimism.
Some of us have gained a lot more practice than others based on life-altering events, personal or professional setbacks or unexpected challenges. In addition to optimism, attitude and outright positivity, here are some additional behaviors we can all engage in, according to the American Psychological Association, peppered with “Teresa-isms.”
Always have solid goals, with a plan and desire to reach those goals. Do something each day to move toward them. Commit to an accountability buddy to stay on course.
Wipe the “V” off your forehead – don’t play the victim. Keep the focus on changing the things you have control over.
Change the way you think and talk. Avoid the notion of permanence. Keep tough times in perspective. Stress will happen. It’s how we respond that matters. Instead of thinking in terms of forever or always – remember it’s just for now and sometimes.
Prime your mind and body. Engage in physical, spiritual and mental activities that keep you at your best. What can you self-discover about yourself that may be life-changing?
Nurture your friendships and relationships. The best time to get a friend is … when you don’t need one. Take initiative and stay connected.
We all have it within us to rise with resilience.
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